100 Percent Wrong

After our failed attempt to find out the gender earlier in the week, I called one of those independent ultrasound places to see if we could get in for another try.  To my surprise, they had an opening two days later, so I took it.  Well, I am 100 percent happy to announce that I was 100 percent wrong!  The results are in and Baby Rowe is a girl!  To say that I am surprised is an understatement, but it is the best surprise in the world.  I was so convinced that we were having a boy that I think I had to ask the ultrasound lady three times if she was sure!

After my appointment, I think it really took some time to sink in for me.  And, for a while, I wasn’t sure why.  I mean, there was always a 50 percent chance that it would be a girl, so why was this so surprising to me?  After my appointment, I visited my parents for the afternoon and shared the good news with them.  I put a “little sister” shirt in a bag and had them open it which was really cute. 

On the way home, I stopped by a children’s clothing store because I had a coupon to use and some Christmas shopping to do for family.  As I entered the store, the reality hit me that I would be able to shop on the “other” side of the store for my little girl.  The other side of the store that I had always looked at from a distance and admired the variety of cute outfits and the sea of pink and purple.  I just stood there and stared.  And then I realized why the reality of having a girl was hard for me to grasp.  For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a little girl…someday.  It’s something that I always hoped to experience…down the road.  It is a prayer I have secretly uttered to God, asking him to give me the desire of my heart…eventually.  And I realized that God was answering my prayer, but not “down the road”, He was answering my prayer now.  I realized that secretly, deep down, I had feared that God would never answer that prayer. 

In this area of my life, I believed that God would discard my wants and desires. 

I had doubted God’s goodness.  

Somewhere along the way, I started to believe that my desires were irrelevant to God. 

As God showed me what was really in my heart, tears came to my eyes.  It’s as if He whispered to me, “Why wouldn’t I be good to you?”  I realized that this was not about having a boy or a girl at all; it was about learning who God is.  He is not good “someday” or “in the future”; He is good now.  He is not unaware of or uncaring about the good desires of our heart.  He cares about even the smallest prayers we whisper.  He is not far off, and He loves us more than we know. 

So, it is with great joy that we will welcome this little girl into our lives, but it is with greater joy that I serve a good, caring, and personal God. 

I am 100 percent happy to say that I was 100 percent wrong.