Gaye B. Amis was born on December 31, 1928 in Wichita Falls, Texas. She married Lewis F. Amis in 1947, and together they had five children (three girls and two boys). Gaye died October 15, 2012. She was my grandmother.
I have been thinking a lot about her lately, especially in recent weeks as we knew that our time with her was very limited. Since my grandma moved to Illinois in 2005 (from Arkansas) so that my mom could take better care of her, she had gradually been declining with the diagnosis of "dementia". During that past couple years especially, I wasn't even sure that she knew who I was. A couple weeks ago, we knew that it would only be a matter of weeks or days before her death, since she was showing signs that her body was shutting down. So, when I think of my grandma, it is not as much with recent memories, but memories of the more distant past.
My grandparents retired in Mountain Home, Arkansas, so that is where I have the bulk of my memories with both of them. During my childhood, we visited them once a year during the summer. I have been thinking about some of my favorite memories during my visits. I loved that we got to sleep in sleeping bags on the living room floor. I loved spending time in the backyard playing croquet (yes, croquet). Grandma would always have jars filled with saltine and ritz crackers-I loved that, too. We would always order THE BEST fried catfish and hush puppies from Fred's Fish House during our stay. I sure looked forward to that. All these memories bring a smile to my face, but more that these, I loved spending time with my grandparents. Their home was such a place of comfort-it was such a lovely, happy place to be, and I believe that was because it reflected the people who lived there.
When I think about my grandmother specifically, I have a couple things that stand out immediately. 1. She possessed physical beauty. Obviously, I only knew her in her "older" years and she was beautiful then, but when I look back on photos of her, I can really see how truly beautiful she was. People even commented on her beauty; she had an outward beauty that was obvious to others. 2. She had a beautiful voice. Grandma was a singer. She was very gifted in this area and sang with her sisters on the radio (before she was married). I am told that during one audition, she was told that her talent was so extraordinary, she "could go anywhere with that voice". She was even offered to tour with someone for concerts, but she turned it down. My memories of her aren't any of these of course, but of grandma singing around the house while she went about her day. She was always singing a tune of some kind. 3. She loved to laugh. This is perhaps my favorite quality about my grandma. When I say she loved to laugh, I mean all the time. My mom's side of the family is more the silly-not-so-serious type, so we always laughed tons and tons when we visited, and Grandma was no exception. She was known for bursting out in laughter at any given moment, and it was contageous. There would be times when she would just look at me, and we would both just start laughing. There didn't have to be a reason for laughing, we just did. 4. She was truly a kind and gentle woman. My grandmother was not an abrasive woman in the least. She didn't voice her opinions often. She had a gentle way in which she interacted with us, and she was always there to offer a smile. Of course, this is the beauty that truly matters.
So, as we buried her body this past weekend, I was struck by these memories. I realized that, if we know that our loved one believed in God, when we say goodbye we don't really mourn them (after all, they are dancing on streets of gold!)-we mourn the empty space that they leave in our lives. We mourn that there will never be another hug or another chance to say "I love you". We mourn that empty place in our hearts that only they were able to fill.
And, as we move forward, we also trust in a God who is Faithful and True. We trust in a God who is our Healer and our Hope. We draw comfort in His character, knowing that He is always good, and that never changes. Thank you, God, for grandma's life here in earth. Thank you for her indelible imprint on our lives. Thank you that she was my grandma.
No comments:
Post a Comment